Laramie Hirsch has a thing or two to say about bullies and bullying, gaslighting, blaming the victim, etc. Things that everyone should know and share. You might recognize much of what he writes tying directly to Miss B.’s Diabolical Narcissism lessons. These themes are rampant today in the Church, in politics, and in the broad realm of fallen Western Civilization. Note, this is not like those lame efforts from the PTA moms to “stop bullying,” as if such a thing could ever be done. As you will see, there no stopping “bullying,” there is only learning how to counterattack against individual bullies, and having the force of will to carry it out.
Pasting a few bits here, link to the full essay at the end.
Bullies and Bullying
You know what a bully is. He or she picks on people. They mock, ridicule, and manipulate people, and they usually do this because they’re screwed up somehow. They are defective and broken in one way or another, and so they take it out on others. They bully other people either overtly or covertly. When most people think of bullies, they think of some sort of a schoolyard boy who’s bigger than the others, he’s overtly mean, rough, and cruel. But there’s other kinds of bullies. In fact, there can be a wide variety of bullies. A passive-aggressive bully, for example, can show no signs of any kind of interest in you, and when no one’s watching, they can stick a foot out to trip you. They can metaphorically “knife you in the side” when no one’s watching. So to speak. They can threaten you, all the while carrying on a façade that they’re the sweetest, most harmless person in the room… Empathy is built up for the bully, and most of the time, his targets are blamed for everything. Read that again: THE BULLY AND HIS SYMPATHIZERS LIKE TO BLAME THE TARGET.
These people are those the bully picks on. They are usually nice people. They are usually “live and let live” types. These are the kind of people who wouldn’t even give a second thought to abusing someone else. Bullies think the worst of those around them, but targets often give others the benefit of the doubt. Targets just want to be left alone… Targets are often gentle and tender-hearted. They’re nice. And that niceness is often perceived as weakness. This weakness draws out contempt from bullies.
I’ve said in the past that evil and good people smell each other. Yet, weak people smell nothing. Targets (not all, but most) who often keep to themselves don’t lift their heads to see what’s coming. They have no situational awareness. They don’t want to “be paranoid.” “I’m not one of those crazy people,” they might say. A great amount of people in the world are this way. They are weak, effeminate, and subject to attacks. They are unprepared, and when they are brutalized by people from out of nowhere, they are surprised and perplexed.
Everyone knows the bully is doing horrible things. The group is made aware of the nasty behavior. But how do they respond now? They don’t. They keep their heads down. They pretend nothing has happened or is happening. It is cruel in its ambiguity. The target is left dangling, helpless, attacked, defenseless, with no ally whatsoever. And the rest of the group pretends everything is fine.
Gaslighting is the next phase of this horrible process. The target is getting psychologically brutalized to such a degree, that it will shape them for the rest of their lives. They will become sensitive to this spectrum of human behavior until the day they die. It is a very dramatic thing to be a part of. It causes post-traumatic stress disorder. Yet, as it transpires, everyone pretends the sky is blue, the grass is green, and everything’s just fine. Perhaps you’ve seen an example of this in the movies. But I wonder if you thought it’d never happen to you. It has.
Now, when a bully is persecuting someone, and gaslighting is taking place, the people usually take one of three actions…